written by: Nydia

Here I Lay

Another Day

Gone BY

More Wasted Time

I Wonder Why Sleep Won’t Visit Me Tonight

Or Any Other Night

Too Much On My Mind

I Need Rest

But This Feeling That Keeps Me Up I Can’t Express.

Though I’m 21 Years Young I Feel Like I Have Lived For A Thousand

I’ve Been Reincarnated Many Times Only To Witness This Cycle We Call “Life”

A Term Used But Still Undefined

Am I Living? Am I Alive?

I Think Not

For I Died Many Years Ago

When I First Believed And First Realized There Was Such Things As Lies

I’m Not Blind

I See Everything And It Kills Me

I Could Sit Here And Cry, Beg Or Preach

But This Wall Between The World And I Can’t Be Breached

It Won’t Make A Difference

No One Really Hears Me

Or Maybe They Do But Just Choose Not To Listen

I’m Not Deaf

I Hear Everything And It Kills Me

(I Hear The Cry Of A Hungry Child In A 3rd World Country, I Hear The Cry Of A Mother Who Just Lost Her Only Son In The War…And I Hear and See So Much More.)

How Can So Many People Witness Such Cruelty And Turn The Other Cheek?

It’s Unbelievable How Ignorance Can Overpower The Mind Of So Many

The Misery Man Brings To This World Is Sickening.

With Every Breath I Take I Inhale This Poison

That Makes Me Sick To My Stomach,

Makes My Skin Crawl.

I’m Going Insane

With These Thoughts

I’m Just Writing

Probably Not Making Any Sense At All…To You

But It’s Ok Because I Understand

I Have Grown So Bitter And Cold

“Life” Has Given Me Nothing But False Pretense

Leaving Me Hollow Inside, Nothing But An Empty Feeling…Disheartened.

I Have So Much Hate Within Me

Yet All I Can Offer And Demonstrate Is Love And Kindness

And I Hate it!

“Hope” Is Not In My Every Day Vocabulary

For I Have Lost All Hope In The Human Race

Man Will Never Change

Greed Will Always Prevail

The Rich And Powerful Will Always Tyrannize The Poor.

Because How Else Would Society Work?

There Will Always be Wars, Murders, Rape, Homelessness, Racism, Sexism…

The List Goes on

And I Can’t Do Anything About It At All.

These Tears I Cry Are Of My Pain Combined With Your Pain And Everyone Else’s Pain

In The Past, Present And Future Pain To Come.

I Truly Feel Like “The King Of Sorrow”

Cause I In Fact Cry Everyone’s Tears

That’s What Keeps Me Up.

That’s Why Happiness Will Never Be For Me.

Because That State Is Temporary And It Will Always Be.

I Indulge Myself With Desolation

This Painful Path I Live (Not By Choice)

Will Be The End Of Me

I’m Not Psychic But Somehow I Know, I Feel It.

And I Can’t Stop It.

Cause I Can’t Ever Beat My Worst Enemy…Time.

But I Will Utilize The Time I Have Left

To Share, To Love, To Care, To Help As Much As I Can, To Bring Some Sort Of Happiness To Someone

Though No One Will Ever Bring (Complete) Happiness To Me.

If Only I Could Learn To Forgive

But I Can’t Let It Go…I Just Can’t Let It Go…

*Note: Written 8/4/2006 @ 2:15 AM*