written by: Nydia

I

*

Why must I torture myself the way I do?

So scared of being caught in lies

That I fail to see the truth

When it’s right in front of my eyes

How can I begin to change the world around me?

When I’m afraid of change

I witness people change around me

But I feel I remain the same

And so used to it I became

Used to the pain

Of being let down

I still hurt

But I’m the only one to blame.

II

*

Physically there are people around me

But all my life I’ve been alone.

So afraid of letting anyone get close

I run away at the first sight of attachment

I try to maintain my composure

But I can’t deny the attraction

This distance maims me

But I can’t let it show…

I’ll just let it kill me softly

Until I can’t take it anymore.

III

*

I’m sorry I’m not as strong as I once thought I was

I fall to my knees

Wanting to believe

Wishing I had someone to pray to

But a Godless child like myself has nowhere to turn to

But my own reflection in the mirror

And own up to my mistakes.